(this is annie)


5. Go see Santa with Mikan. This weekend, Petsmart is having pet photos with Old St. Nick. When I learned of this, my little hamster-brain started working overtime. Could I find a kitty sweater and put Miki in it and then would he sit on the man's lap? The idea was enticing until I found out that the $10 fee includes only two Polaroids. Nobody looks good in Polaroids. For that kind of money, I expect prints and negatives.

4. Make gingerbread people and give them to friends. There was a woman who used to make gingerbread cookies for the neighborhood's children, and I always felt special when I'd see how she decorated mine. The problem is that I am a very clumsy piper, and I can't really give someone their cookie likeness unless it looks wonderful.

3. Buy no presents at all. This one is actually going fairly well. I've bought only four things. The other presents are either handmade or from goody bags. Maybe this makes me very cheap, but I argue it is silly to spend money when you can very well make someone happy without going nuts with the credit card.

2. Send holiday cards. Let's be honest. Every year, I buy cards with great intentions of sending them out. But I don't do it. The cards languish in their boxes, and the festive ice-skating dachshund on their fronts just taunts me: You are a bad friend! You are a terrible person!

1. Avoid that Macca Christmas song. You know the one. It has sleigh bells (natch) and goes, "Simply! Having! A wonderfulChristmastime!" It is my least-favorite modern-day Christmas song. Also, have you ever listened to the lyrics? "Don't cry poor children/ Sing this song"? Sorry you're not getting any presents and your ramshackle house is only 47 degrees inside, but don't cry about it. The song will fix everything! Who knew that Paul McCartney could be so blind to issues of class?

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