#1. Riot Grrrl-era Kathleen Hanna. For this, I would wear a cropped sleeveless shirt, draw a big black heart on my arm, write SLUT on my belly, and don a black wig. Also, I would smash the whiteboy patriarchy. I was going to do this one, but I don't want my belly to be ogled by party revelers.
#2. Team Dresch. The costume involves running shorts, tube socks, sneaks, and an athletic tee with DRESCH in iron-on letters in back. I was going to do this one, but I am too lazy to shave my legs and too stubborn to go as a lesbian band while simultaneously meeting the hairy-legged-lesbian stereotype.
#3. Vampire lady. I bought an Ulla Johnson black silk dress a couple of years ago, but I rarely wear it because I rarely have fancy events that require such a foxy dress. So I would wear that along with some glue-on vampy teeth, and then I'd paint my face pale with dark red lips. I was going to do this one, but I am afraid someone will spill Pabst on the dress.
#4. Harriet Miers. Eyeliner, frumpy outfit, jowls. I was going to do this one, but I think even fewer people would get it than they would Team Dresch.
#5. Jem. This truly outrageous costume would require a pink wig, glittery pink dress and a gay-vague boyfriend named Rio. I was going to do this one, but who wants a gay-vague boyfriend named Rio?
#2. Team Dresch. The costume involves running shorts, tube socks, sneaks, and an athletic tee with DRESCH in iron-on letters in back. I was going to do this one, but I am too lazy to shave my legs and too stubborn to go as a lesbian band while simultaneously meeting the hairy-legged-lesbian stereotype.
#3. Vampire lady. I bought an Ulla Johnson black silk dress a couple of years ago, but I rarely wear it because I rarely have fancy events that require such a foxy dress. So I would wear that along with some glue-on vampy teeth, and then I'd paint my face pale with dark red lips. I was going to do this one, but I am afraid someone will spill Pabst on the dress.
#4. Harriet Miers. Eyeliner, frumpy outfit, jowls. I was going to do this one, but I think even fewer people would get it than they would Team Dresch.
#5. Jem. This truly outrageous costume would require a pink wig, glittery pink dress and a gay-vague boyfriend named Rio. I was going to do this one, but who wants a gay-vague boyfriend named Rio?
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