(this is annie)

This morning on the bus, a tiny old woman climbed aboard at Halsted and Division. She took her seat directly in front of me. Instead of facing forward, she placed her wrinkled little hands on the back of the seat, resting her chin on its plastic top. And then she stared at my hands. It would have been slightly endearing if she were seven, or if she weren't twitching her left eye and breathing in heavy groans. It occurred to me that she might be a Bus Weirdo. I thought, "What would Urban National Geographic suggest in a potentially uncomfortable situation such as this one?" and then realized that, by god, if she came at me like a bat, I'd have to use my 6.5 millimeter. Six-five millimeter Susan Bates knitting needles, that is. Fortunately, she was a restless little thing, and just past Grand, she scurried (really) to the front of the bus. She then regaled the bus driver with the many reasons why Judge Judy shouldn't be trusted.

Mumsy is coming to town tomorrow. I don't know what to make of this e-mailed sentence: Well I'm an early bird, as you know, so if there were some morning errands you needed done Friday, I could drive you wherever if you're contemplating tha day off. Did you see that? Tha day off. Tha. Has Betty started taking the creative spelling of the rap world to heart?

Labels: betty