My mother is not immune to New Moon mania. "I was watching Jimmy Kimmer or one of those new late-night guys and those Twilight people were on," she was saying tonight. "They looked bored to death. And I know you think that Robert Pattison is a hunk, but you know, he has unkempt facial hair."
(She is right on both counts, for the record. Even though I would never use the word "hunk.")
"And I don't get the fuss over this Jason character and his abs," she continued. "They showed a clip of these giant wolves, and it was like Lilliput, with the wolves bigger than everyone else."
(I interrupted to tell her yes, I've seen the scene. She describes it in detail nonetheless.)
"There are all of these cartoony wolves and it looks like a Disney kids' movie. And Belle is running toward Jason and she yells, 'Run, run!' and then HE turns into a giant wolf, too. I don't get it."
(Betty has not read the Twilight novels or seen the movies. Understandably, the wolf thing makes no sense. It doesn't if you're familiar with the saga, either.)
"I don't understand why that Jason has his shirt off all the time," she went on.
(Same here. I mentioned that Sabrina and I felt uncomfortable while seeing him shirtless on screen.)
"You two! You two are old enough to have babysat him! You dirty old ladies!"
(I explained that our discomfort did not stem from lust, but that it felt weird and wrong to see a teenage boy strut around shirtless and "sexy.")
"Well, he is not cute! He looks like Howdy Doody!"
(I defended him, saying that he's only 17, give him a break, he's a kid.)
"He does look like Howdy Doody," my mother proclaimed. "He's got that pug nose and big horsey teeth! Not cute! Anyway, I think this Moon sounds like a bad movie. Buffy should take care of all of those Twilight bozos."
(On this, we agreed.)
(She is right on both counts, for the record. Even though I would never use the word "hunk.")
"And I don't get the fuss over this Jason character and his abs," she continued. "They showed a clip of these giant wolves, and it was like Lilliput, with the wolves bigger than everyone else."
(I interrupted to tell her yes, I've seen the scene. She describes it in detail nonetheless.)
"There are all of these cartoony wolves and it looks like a Disney kids' movie. And Belle is running toward Jason and she yells, 'Run, run!' and then HE turns into a giant wolf, too. I don't get it."
(Betty has not read the Twilight novels or seen the movies. Understandably, the wolf thing makes no sense. It doesn't if you're familiar with the saga, either.)
"I don't understand why that Jason has his shirt off all the time," she went on.
(Same here. I mentioned that Sabrina and I felt uncomfortable while seeing him shirtless on screen.)
"You two! You two are old enough to have babysat him! You dirty old ladies!"
(I explained that our discomfort did not stem from lust, but that it felt weird and wrong to see a teenage boy strut around shirtless and "sexy.")
"Well, he is not cute! He looks like Howdy Doody!"
(I defended him, saying that he's only 17, give him a break, he's a kid.)
"He does look like Howdy Doody," my mother proclaimed. "He's got that pug nose and big horsey teeth! Not cute! Anyway, I think this Moon sounds like a bad movie. Buffy should take care of all of those Twilight bozos."
(On this, we agreed.)
Labels: betty, Robert Pattinson
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