October has generally been an unfortunate month for me, especially around the third day. It was five years ago yesterday that I wound up in the hospital ("wound up" is a funny phrase). So began a long string of nights spent alternating between wild insomnia and depressive deep sleep. I've been sleeping deeply lately, too, but not because I'm completely depressed. More dysthymic than anything. Sleeping goes so quickly and unnoticed, and lately I have had semi-conscious conversations that involve me not knowing whether I'm awake or asleep. I don't know if this October will be unfortunate. I'm hoping that it won't be, obviously. I'm staying busy with a lot of freelance work, and that creates more energy than it takes. So that's a plus. Do I sound convincing? Even halfway?
Also, to present an example of hypersensitivity (irrational, I know, yet genuine): it hurts my feelings when I try to commit one of those random acts of kindness, and people act as though you've just squatted down and pooped on their shoes. Why is it that if you do something thoughtful, it's often met with disdainful stares or general weirdness? Where are the people that you find on Oprah, who appreciate little kindnesses and don't throw them back in your face? Well, I've had enough. J'en ai marre. From now on I am being nice to only my kitty and roommate, who LIKE niceness.
Also, to present an example of hypersensitivity (irrational, I know, yet genuine): it hurts my feelings when I try to commit one of those random acts of kindness, and people act as though you've just squatted down and pooped on their shoes. Why is it that if you do something thoughtful, it's often met with disdainful stares or general weirdness? Where are the people that you find on Oprah, who appreciate little kindnesses and don't throw them back in your face? Well, I've had enough. J'en ai marre. From now on I am being nice to only my kitty and roommate, who LIKE niceness.
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