(this is annie)

As promised, Christmas songs that I like.

For a girl who spent her formative years being shuttled between Catholic and Methodist churches, liking religious-leaning Christmas songs is almost required. So! Hearing "Silent Night" makes me think of my grandfather, who liked to sing it in the original German. That's pretty much my favorite traditional Christmas carol. Oh, and I also like "Good King Wenceslas," and "We Three Kings" unless it's Blondie doing it. Tomorrow morning, I plan to surprise Betty with this version of "O Holy Night." She'll either say it's sacrilegious or she'll laugh until she cries. Let's hope for the latter result.

And with that out of the way — since you've just been waiting with bated breath — here are the not-so-churchy Christmas songs that I actually like. Special mention goes to the Dreidel song, which is a perennial Hanukkah favorite.

Embarrassing ones
George Michael clearly has not shed the baggage of his last relationship in Last Christmas. If he were really going to give his heart to someone special, he wouldn't be spending four minutes reminding his erstwhile love of last year's present. And you just know that the recipient of this message is wondering why this putzy rebound (who she dumped a year ago!) will not stop embarrassing himself in a futile attempt to stoke jealousy. And yet, I love the poppy synths and theatrical crooning.

But it gets worse. There is no excuse for enjoying Christmas Don't Be Late as much as I do. I am so ashamed. But every time I hear its woozy, waltzy first measures, I grin at the ludicrous thought of fat, greedy chipmunk children demanding toys. I always have to sing "me, I want a hula hoop." (Current scene point balance: -39,596)

Ones that aren't super-Christmasy but are nonetheless related to the holiday contextually
When River starts, you groan and think it's going to be a schmaltzy take on "Jingle Bells," but I suspect this would be a dangerous soundtrack if you had a whiskey in one hand, a phone in the other, and a lost love's phone number in your memory.

Next! Fred Thomas has one of the best smiles I've ever seen, and hearing him on This Time Every Year brings one to my face. If you pay more attention to the music than the lyrics, you might miss the alienation.

2000 Miles is a bit corny but I like its matter-of-fact melancholy. The Kinks' Father Christmas is a guilty power pop pleasure. (From the same year is this Leopards track, which has a bizarre little ragtimey piano hook.)

Soul and sadness
My love for Otis Redding knows no bounds, which is why sometimes I listen to Merry Christmas Baby in June. The James Brown Christmas album is pretty great all-around, especially because he doesn't schmaltz things up. My favorite track, Soulful Christmas has a killer bass line. If you don't want to dance when you hear this, you might as well be dead.

Or maybe your heart just feels dead. That's okay, I like sad-bastard Christmas songs, too. The older I get, the more emotional I am over the bleakness hiding in Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas. (For my money, Judy's version is the only one that matters.)

Then we have the lonelyhearts. Jon Bon Jovi seems like a nice enough guy, but he can't hold a candle to the loneliness of Charles Brown's original Please Come Home For Christmas. (The way he says "please" kills me.) More upbeat but similarly themed is the lovely Darlene Love's Christmas (Baby Please Come Home). Continuing on with the alone-on-Christmas theme, we have Elvis Aaron Presley's Blue Christmas, which might be my favorite Elvis song.

Of the three brokenhearted singers, I assume Darlene Love would be the one to get her former lovah back, because she comes off as cheery and cute. Elvis sounds like he's feeling sorry for himself, but isn't going to push the issue too much. I kinda want Charles's ladyfriend to show up on his door, but he needs to work on looking more nonchalant about it. The whole "by New Year's night" thing makes him come off a little desperate.

So! That's most of the list. There are other decent ones that I don't mind, but these are the ones I actually like. Even so, it'll be nice to not hear them for another year.

Labels: christmas, music