(this is annie)


Slayer Presents: Spagoing 101

The cats and I can't sleep. That's not true. The boys can sleep, but because of my insomnia — which kicked in right as I was preparing to go to bed — I sit on the couch next to them and loop MBV and Wire on repeat. Living the dream!

Earlier today, I had to tape some video. Appearing on camera doesn't stress me out too much, mostly because I've never really dreamed about being on the teevee or anything like that. What concerns me is my inability to gauge how much makeup is necessary to keep my ghostly pallor from throwing off the camera's white balance. Whenever makeup artists have dolled me up for the screen, I've looked like an oompa loompa in the mirror, but the camera tones it down to make me look human. When I am responsible for my makeup application, I wind up applying three times as much as I would on any given day, only to look like Casper because it's still not enough face paint.

Today, after saying that I needed more eyeliner, LF helped me come up with bouncy, happy lines to say to the camera. I suggested some wry murderous puns, which would not have fit with the subject at hand. "My heart is blackened and sooty," I joked in asking for his advice. "I'm not sure dark humor will translate." Similarly, my attempt to do a voiceover Slayer-style (reign-in-blood Slayer, not Buffy) was deemed inappropriate for a script about makeup — though hilarious, we agreed. Up with dark humor, we said. (I would watch a show about death metal makeovers, anyway. It sounds amusing.)

I know this is scintillating stuff, but I knew if I wrote about these highlights of my day, it would put me to sleep. And on that note, our work here is done.

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