(this is annie)

I got together with Mr. Coffee last night. I hadn't seen him since May, and I'd forgotten how broad his shoulders are. For some reason they stood out. I'd also forgotten how gentlemanly he is, and how smart, and how genuinely nice and politically aware and handsome and so on. Someday I will really kick myself for not falling madly in love with him. Decades down the line, when I am clutching my taxidermied Mikan ("He's a good little cat, he just sits there real quiet-like all day long with a blank stare in his eye") and watching Buffy reruns, I will regret not snagging him while I had the chance.

But that is then, and this is now. For now, we shared snacks and coffee and conversation. We talked about Fahrenheit 9/11 (good, but heavy-handed); clingy people who are all about dating you right away (yeek); and, of course, how Ted Leo's upcoming album is going to be the highlight of October (better than Halloween). Mr. Coffee told me that at the show I missed while traveling in Europe, Ted said something about "the middle third." While I tried to nibble my cookie, Mr. Coffee explained what the middle third is. It involves drinking one's own urine, and I prudishly hissed, "Mr. Coffee, I am trying to eat my cookie!" To which he attempted to absolve himself by explaining that it was Ted Leo who brought it up, not him.

The conversation moved on to books or something like that, and thank god for the timing, because who do we see walking down the street? Mahmood, Dave, and Ted himself. Quelle surprise; they weren't playing a show that night! I was very happy, but I didn't want to blow my cool by expressing too much excitement--it would have involved giddy hand-clapping--so I bizarrely started acting prim as Laura Bush instead. I was all manners and formality for some reason. Finally, someone said, "Um, you can sit down, Annie," and I relaxed.

After sharing funny "Metropolitan Diary" stories in character voices, we started talking about Madame Bovary and, yes, the middle third. There is nothing like pee talk to make me blush, and I was very happy when the topic moved from urine consumption to Eminem. I would much rather talk about his cinematic triumphs than drinking "liquid waste," as my fourth-grade teacher would call it. Eventually, the Pharmacists and Mahmood finished their coffees and went on their way. Happy coincidence, happy evening. 

Labels: buffy