Remember that obnoxiously scary children's game called "Operation?" Of course you do; its incessant buzzing was enough to scare any child into a bomb shelter. BUZZ, BUZZ, and you were certain that Operation was trying to electrocute you.

Eventually, the buzzing didn't scare me; however, there was always something fishy about the little man on the game. He looked like someone you wouldn't want to meet in a dark alley, and he suffered from Ken Syndrome. Ken Syndrome is a term I use to describe toys that are anatomically incorrect. When I was young, I always wondered why Ken just had a strange lump instead of the proper equipment. There was nothing sexual about my confusion; I just knew how things were supposed to be. And Operation Man certainly had Ken Syndrome.

So one day while I was playing Operation, I decided to do some operating of my own. I toddled into the kitchen, foraged in my play cabinet, and found what I was looking for. Upon returning to Operation Man, I uncapped the Sharpie marker and drew in the appropriate parts. There! Operation Man was physically complete! I was so pleased with myself; my parents have never mentioned my little artistry. I think it's one of those things that they'll pretend never happened.

We never could sell that game in later garage sales. I can't imagine why. "Oh, look, Timmy! Operation! And it's only ten cents! Well, let's see if it's missing any parts. Oh! Oh goodness gracious! Oh, it's not missing any parts! No, Timmy, let's buy a different toy. I'll explain when you're older."