1.02.98

last week, my mom and i were going to take a trek to kalamazoo. she was wearing normal mom clothes and i was wearing normal annie clothes, but right as we were leaving, i pointed out a small stain on her shirt. she declared that she had to change her outfit. now, i didn't want to wait around any longer. so i said, "why don't you wear my sweatshirt?" i didn't think that she would want to do that, but amazingly enough, she agreed. i rummaged through a mountain of clothes and produced my by the grace of god hoodie. "ooh!" squealed my mom. "what's this? by the grace of god. is that a band? oh, people are going to make fun of me." i assured her that nobody would mock her, so she donned the hoodie and off we went.

over the next few days, my mom wore said hoodie when putzing around the house and so on. her friend sue came over a few times, and they chit chatted as they always do. then, a few days after christmas, i woke up and had a phone message from sue. i thought that my father must have taken the message incorrectly, so i ignored it. later that day, sue called me wanting to know about that sweatshirt -- where could she find it? apparently, the rather religious sue wanted the shirt as a witness to her christianity. i tried to explain that it was a sweatshirt for a band, but she seemed to be indifferent. she wants the sweatshirt and she wants me to have a victory records catalog sent to her. what could i do? so if you ever see a band of middle-aged women walking down the street with hardcore shirts on, you can blame it on me.